Let It Be or Treatise on Why Compartmentalization Doesn’t Work

This may be less than coherent due to the lateness of the hour here, but I’m going to try to make sure that doesn’t happen. Try.

I have  a tendency to sit around and ruminate on the strange happenings in my life. Of course, I have a tendency to overthink things like my bank account and what I should cook for dinner as well. I ponder the unusual because the usual is well, usual. I pick the strangeness apart because the “happenings” are actually few and far between. Less so than for your average Joe, but every hour of every day isn’t a crazy spirit fest at my house. I can go days or even weeks without something significantly outside the pale happening. But when something spectacularly odd happens, there is a real tendency to stew on it. Hell, even try to assign meaning to it. In a great universe of possibilities there is always the chance that a “paranormal” event is just a fluke. Most likely, actually, statistically speaking.

There really is no such thing as paranormal. Everything is on a sliding scale of normal-as far as day to day life, spirit work, energy work, and ghost activity-things of that nature-are concerned. After a discussion with an intimate friend I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason we (the average American Joe) don’t see this is because we (humans) tend to compartmentalize our lives. Pagans and Heathens and all other varieties of not Christians with a penchant for mysticism even more so because we are already so off the mainstream beaten path that constitutes “normal” in Western Culture.

If something unusual happens-say you and a car load of friends see a semi-transparent man beast thing run across the road in front of your vehicle (Yes, it did. I have 3 other not crazy people who were with me at the time. Good to have corroboration.), you should take it at face value. It is what it is. Why pick it apart? Does it mean that there could be a real life version of predator going on in your neighborhood? Sure. Maybe. Could it mean a million other things? Sure. Maybe. But…in the end, what does it matter? You’re probably not going to see semi-visible man beast thing again. Probably. It certainly never stopped me from wandering the streets after dark.

Sometimes, going with the flow is a good way to go.

But, this isn’t outside of the realm of reality because clearly it happened. Overthinking it and assigning meaning won’t make it NOT have happened.

Don’t compartmentalize. Just live your life.

I’m pretty sure in a different day in age I would have been a Priestess, spending the bulk of my days worrying about the divine and the astral planes, but since I’m not and since I have to function in modern society I can’t afford to sink as much of my day and time into it as I might like. My faith, my religion, my chase toward enlightenment does in fact constitute part of my normal day.

Don’t compartmentalize. Your life is your life. All of it.  

I can’t meditate and talk to Loki from 6 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. and expect him to take a hike the rest of the day. (Besides which, wouldn’t that be rude?) If he wants to hang out while I cook pancakes and make coffee, who am I to judge? Maybe I have a good recipe. On the same token, sometimes when you are driving down a dark street with a carload of people slowing down to turn into your driveway you see weird shit sprint through the snow lightened night and across your neighbor’s lawn when you aren’t expecting anything at all.

What do you do in that situation? Go inside, drink some cheap soda, watch bad movies-in essence, live your life. ‘Cause life goes on.


Stalled Moments from an Impetuous Youth

After my high school graduation I wanted to get a tattoo of Athena’s owl on my left shoulder. I was never a serious dedicant to her cult, nor did I ever meet her (as far as I know), but I admired her. I still admire her to this day. She is strong, intelligent, ruthless and cunning-all traits that are often lacking in historical female figures. I fell into academic lust with her around the same time that I took an interest in Alexander the Great (which lead to a mainly useless history degree with a  focus on Ancient Greece).

The tattoo I wanted was to be one side of an ancient Greek coin I had aquired. It was Athena’s stylized owl with some Greek writing (who knows what it said, most likely something I didn’t want on my body). The owl on the ball of my left shoulder would mirror the pentacle on my right shoulder.

I was reminded of this tattoo today because I have the itch for some new ink settling into my heart. Over the last 10 years I’ve either had tattoo money, but couldn’t find the coin, or had the coin and no money. Always. For ten years I haven’t been able to get my shit together to get this tattoo. Today, it finally hit me why this hasn’t come to pass.

…Someone doesn’t like the idea of me being marked for another.

Hail Loki!

Hail Loki King of “I Licked It, So It’s Mine Now!”

Your Own Thoughts: A New Spin

One of the things I’m now keenly aware of, and something I’d never thought to take for granted before, is what it means to be alone in my head, thinking my own thoughts. I’ve always been a day dreamer and a storyteller, so I’m quite used to what it means to build entire worlds in my head. I construct people and places and scenarios and have entire conversations with myself on almost a daily basis; however, now that I’ve begun what I’ll tentatively refer to as spirit work for the sake of simplicity, I feel a distinct lack of desire to let my mind drift the way I used to. I keep it more tightly reigned in and keep a better eye trained on when and where I allow myself to space out. It is extremely disconcerting to be driving and contending with a God communiqué. Oh, you know that conversation you were having with your husband and you didn’t know I, Loki Himself, had an opinion on? I do. And you’re just open enough that you now know that I do because you trance out while driving. Needless to say I’ve learned to reign this in and firmly anchor myself in the here in and now.

Not something I ever thought I would be dealing with.

I just keep telling myself that even though I feel like I’m crazy I am not, in fact, going crazy.

I also don’t let my mind range in the same way I used to before I go to sleep at night, though I am going to start trying to do that again. My mind movies are always entertaining if nothing else, and why shouldn’t I give myself the pleasure of spinning my own bedtime tales?

That Antsy Feeling

The energy is stirred up a bit around here tonight giving me that hemmed in feeling that comes with too much sensory input and nothing to do with the excess excitement other than stare at the walls. I don’t get the feeling that it is “God/dess” driven. Certainly nothing to do with Loki, though maybe I speak too quickly on that account. Sometimes it seems I only need think of Him and I get a tap to remind me that He is around and about, even if I’m not the focus of his attention.A naturally occurring energy excess seems to be welling up-the house and the woods fairly pulse with it.

Oh, well, that settles that. I just checked the lunar phase and it is the full moon. Question answered. I still don’t know what to do with the bursting full feeling settling in on my chest tonight other than perhaps write or wait for my lover to come home and churn these energy quakes into something more pleasurable. Going out to burn it off isn’t really an option. Probably a good thing, that. The vibes in the air have a madness quality that is far too enticing-a “throw-everything-to-the-wind”ness that generally comes back to bite me on the ass later.


Loki: A God of Life

I would like to precurse this article with the very clear idea that I am not discussing Marvel Loki. I am talking about Loki the God-the “mythical” entity. He has many titles, and I won’t get into all of them, but loosely and most specifically as I see him most often The God of Dynamic Change (not necessarily chaos). I think the Gods get pigeon holed into their most famous aspects by the casual observer, and if there is a god that laughs in the face of clear definitions it is He. I am going to discuss these ideas based on my UPG (unverified personal gnosis) with Him, and no I don’t know all of the lore or even care that I don’t know all of the lore. I wasn’t a Heathen before I started working with and having a relationship with Loki and I suspect I will always be a rhombus trying to fit in a screw hole if I ever try to wear the mantle of Heathenry. I am also not a godspouse or a god consort, currently. I would say I don’t have aspirations in that direction, but whether or not I have aspirations doesn’t mean I will never come face to face with the issue. Not in my hands, exactly, or maybe I should rather say completely. I don’t feel that this invalidates my opinions and ideas, but I felt the need to clarify all of this from the beginning.

I find Loki to be a particularly respectful god. He is respectful of me as a person and of me as a thinker. I have a great respect for His impetuous intelligence and I feel an echoing enjoyment of these qualities in myself. He is respectful of personal will and personal space unless it runs completely counter to something He wants BADLY or something that would make my life better. I’m slowly coming to realize that there are elements in the world that can see further than I can, and the Gods are certainly one of them. I suspect He realizes I wouldn’t react well to certain bullying tactics and perhaps that is why I’ve never seen much of His darker side, which I am quite certain, exists. I’ve heard others speak of it repeatedly and where there is smoke there is usually fire. There are times when I certainly have the sizzle of fear that comes with the thought of holding a Tiger’s tail. Other than asking for omens I have refrained from anything I would consider topical and abusive of a divine relationship. I haven’t yet set up a sustained (i.e. planned out) devotional practice for Him, so I haven’t specifically asked anything of Him either. I don’t think He of all the gods, would mind the fact that I am not usually a plodding predictable person in such things, so I’m working on going with my gut and giving offerings when the mood strikes as a good time. I believe there should be give and take in these sorts of relationships and I don’t want to take, take, take and never give. I have, however, welcomed him into my life even though I have not oathed myself to his service (and may never do so).

I’ve been thinking of Loki as a God of Life as wells as a God of Dynamic Change and a God of Chaos. Life is not stagnation. Life ebbs and flows and isn’t the same from one second to the next. Even if I stand still my body percolates and jumps and twitches and metabolizes without a by your leave from me. Change is wholly necessary for life.