One of the things I’m now keenly aware of, and something I’d never thought to take for granted before, is what it means to be alone in my head, thinking my own thoughts. I’ve always been a day dreamer and a storyteller, so I’m quite used to what it means to build entire worlds in my head. I construct people and places and scenarios and have entire conversations with myself on almost a daily basis; however, now that I’ve begun what I’ll tentatively refer to as spirit work for the sake of simplicity, I feel a distinct lack of desire to let my mind drift the way I used to. I keep it more tightly reigned in and keep a better eye trained on when and where I allow myself to space out. It is extremely disconcerting to be driving and contending with a God communiqué. Oh, you know that conversation you were having with your husband and you didn’t know I, Loki Himself, had an opinion on? I do. And you’re just open enough that you now know that I do because you trance out while driving. Needless to say I’ve learned to reign this in and firmly anchor myself in the here in and now.
Not something I ever thought I would be dealing with.
I just keep telling myself that even though I feel like I’m crazy I am not, in fact, going crazy.
I also don’t let my mind range in the same way I used to before I go to sleep at night, though I am going to start trying to do that again. My mind movies are always entertaining if nothing else, and why shouldn’t I give myself the pleasure of spinning my own bedtime tales?