A Few More Thoughts on The Path of Sacred Motherhood: Death Mother

These are thoughts I am working through and subject to redraft or complete dismissal if I think on them long enough and decide I’m wrong. Fair warning.

Sacred Motherhood deals extensively with the energy of creation and the energy of life. These are both intertwined and separate energies. I believe that the energy of creation can exist without the energy of life-directionless, formless, waiting. The energy of creation is like a pile of wood-without a plan it doesn’t necessarily do much of anything. I don’t think the energy of life can exist without the energy of creation in a living person. As an energy worker if I feel another’s energy I am feeling both of these energies within their energy field. I think a Sacred Mother is very adept at culling out the energy of creation and repairing the plan a bit if things have gone awry. When I manipulate energy in another’s energy field I feel it is THIS energy I am able to change, which then goes on to change the life energy it is connected to.

For example, if I can get rid of a headache, something I’ve been able to do a number of times for various people, I’m willing a change in this more malleable energy of creation, which brings the other energy around because it is the more potent energy and it now has different directives than the life energy.

I also think life energy is a spectrum. On one end we have a new, physical manifestation energy surrounding and running through a person or animal and in plants. On the other end of the long, long spectrum is the transformed energy of a soul awaiting reincarnation or some other evolution process. Even the dead carry life energy, just changed, because it is energy with a definite pattern and structure. Maybe the energy of creation degrades in some way over time or gets used up, and that is what essentially pings out last minutes on this mortal plane. I’m not sure.  A soul is the same soul through many reincarnations. The energy of creation helps bring new physical form to the old soul. I’m not sure how this infusion process works exactly, which is why we can carry the same characteristics on from life to life if we are truly hell bent on doing so.

I also think the continuity of energy is why it is perfectly reasonable that a Sacred Motherhood could exist in Death work. Death is the other side of life and not disconnected from living in any true way other than a shedding of the mortal body.

I’ve been mulling this over based on some discussions I’ve been reading and seen lately and this is what I came up with from all of that.

Dream A Little Dream

The night before last I had the strangest dream. I will warn you that it was a sexy times dream, in case you have no desire to peruse onwards. 

In the dream I am not sure what was going on, but I found a perfume bottle marked “Mind Clearing Essence” on my vanity (old fashioned, white and lace-I definitely do not own one of these treasures of a forgotten feminine era). The bottle itself was made of heavy glass and square with a spritzer on top. The liquid inside was glowing and fiery red and the label was a lovely, handwritten scrawl. I was clothed in a flowing, dramatic red sun dress tapered to my hips and flaring out at the bottom and I was wearing heels as well. I always remember wearing heels because I never wear them in Mundania. The dress made my pale skin and dark hair stand out as I settled before my mirror. I knew the reflection was me, but it wasn’t me. I was a younger woman, early twenties or late teens, from perhaps the late 40’s or early 50’s.  I am by nature curious, so I looked around my room for a suitor or friend hiding, as I didn’t know where the bottle came from, but in the end spritzed some on without ever determining the gift giver. Musk and a mildly floral scent with an herbal undertone settled onto my being and skin. I don’t know how I knew this, but the scent clung to my energy as well as my physical body.

When I left the house to do a bit of shopping I created a wake of people who would immediately stop what they were doing and stare around themselves in a daze. Then they would madly crush the nearest person to them for some carnal delights. It took me a while I realize I was the cause of all this public debauchery. You see, when people aren’t weighted down by their daily stresses they do what makes them happiest, and apparently lovemaking makes them happiest. Everywhere I went a trail of hedonism followed me and finally, the perfume started to effect me as well.  

The thoughts started to leak from my head until all I could hear inside my brain was silence. And then I saw a male stranger. No memorable face-there was nothing which stood out about him, but-we fell into on another passionately. Kissing, groping-the whole nine yards. I woke up before we got to the inevitable and was very startled.

I don’t do sex dreams. Not usually, anyway.

This feels like a dream that was dropped into my brain for several reasons. It has an “otherness” quality to it that I’ve come to associate with a God gift dream. The symbolism was heavy handed enough that if it WAS from Loki He really, really wanted me to get it. I’ve been stressed lately and stress kills happiness and sexitimes (mundane and otherworldly I’m guessing…though Himself and I haven’t had sex before…at least that I remember) and communication with the otherworld.

So, was he dropping me hints about our shared relationship? I’m not sure, but I think this dream was more about me needing to try harder to de-stress. I’m going to mull on it for a while longer. It also may have some past life connections for me.

I’ve also made a special attempt at getting enough sleep in the past two days. A very happy, unexpected side effect was stumbled upon when I realized I can dream again. Being too tired kills either my dreams or my memory of them. Science says I dream every night, but I know I don’t remember dreams when I’m overly tired. My dreams have always been a gateway. I used to keep a dream journal when I was younger, and I’m going to start again.

Dream journaling is best done immediately after waking. If you want to do it keep the journal and pen on the nightstand or area beside your bed and set the alarm early enough that you have time to actually write for 10 or 15 minutes after you wake. Dream journaling is wonderful and I  don’t know why I got out of the habit. Oh, wait a minute. Yes I do. I have 2 children and a mortal spouse who hack away at the time I have for commitments.

I’m glad the Gods have seen fit to not amp up my Spirit Work since I have young children. I don’t know how I would deal with that on my plate. On the other hand I suppose we always make time for the things we must make time for.

Wisdom from one Mother to-well, anyone I guess.

I’m in a rambling mood today, so I will sign off for now.

Things that Make Me Go Hmmmm….

Last night I had an experience that made me decide to repost something from my “normal” blog. Apparently, I can’t do normal very well. We’ve encountered something similar at my new apartment. I’m not sure if it is related to the casting I did last night OR if the energy I raised attracted the attention of something. It is hard to tell sometimes. 

The Repost:

Post Title: Cloaked in Darkness They Annoy

When I was small, I was brave. I hated to show that I needed my parents or grandparents. I am not sure where this independence came from, whether it was something learned or inherent, but it was both a bother and a boon by turns. I was terrified of my closet and the dark recesses under my bed and dresser when it was dark and even the night light leant no solace. I never yelled for my Grandparents or my Father though when I woke up with night terrors or felt uncomfortable going to sleep. I knew they would not enjoy their sleep being disturbed or shortened, and besides, they would just tell me the things that I saw were in my own head.

They would have been right, to some degree. I had nightmares like any child, especially after I watched Pumpkinhead and Nightmare on Elm Street when I was still in 1st Grade. I would tensely lay awake far into the night imagining that something from those movie horrors would jump out at me unexpectedly if I were to let my eyelids slip together. Added into this created mental fray (thanks for being the cool parent Dad) were what I now know as legitimate childhood observations of the spiritual realm that interacts with our own from time to time. These competing ideas –things that are scary aren’t real vs. I see things that most people think aren’t real- make one very confused, frightened child with no one whom she feels she can talk to without being labeled crazy. I have always been perceptive and there were very few adults with whom discussing anything out of the ordinary was okay. Otherwise I would be outright dismissed or told in low hissing tones that I was going to go to hell if I kept talking about the things that I was seeing (thanks Mom-there are reasons we don’t talk).

My maternal Grandfather never outright dismissed me or told me I was “having nightmares”. I now suspect as an adult that it was because he had similar experiences to my own. He was a dowser, and I am fairly certain he was at least as psychically sensitive as I myself am today. When I was younger and I was at his house I would see a “shadow man”, which was a man comprised of shadow not hiding in shadows, though there was nothing about him that made him male other than a sense of maleness. Much like other things out of the ordinary seeing this shadow man frightened me because I had no context in which to place him. I ran to my Grandfather once after seeing him and he asked me why I was upset. I told him all about the shadow man, and my Grandfather told me not to mind him because he wasn’t there to hurt us. I would see the shadow man most frequently when we would lay down for a nap during the day, or back the hall near the bedrooms, as if it’s natural place was near resting areas. I saw the shadow man at least weekly when I would visit, and I know my little brother saw him on at least one occasion. I am sure Grandpa saw him too. I don’t know what he was, but he wasn’t a ghost. He didn’t have the same vibrations or presence that ghosts have. There was no feeling of ever having been a person about this entity, though it wasn’t threatening other than not being “normal”. I even wonder now if it wasn’t something that my Grandfather invited into the house for one purpose or another. I will never know because Grandpa died several years ago. I’ve seen him since briefly, but his spirit was also comforting rather than frightening, if a bit intrusive.

I am dissecting these memories of a long ago shadow man today because last night I encountered something similar, but with a decidedly malevolent feel.  The shadow man I encountered last night was a negative energy feeder of some sort and decidedly wanted me to be afraid of it. I think it has been lurking around for a while, but since I am pregnant I have been overly tired and letting my cleansing of the living area slide. I do this because my husband and I together seem to make enough energy waves with our daily activities that we are interesting to just about anything on the metaphysical planes that happen to be wandering through. Unlike the shadow man when I was younger I get the distinct impression that daylight chases it into hiding. Also, much like the long ago childhood shadow man I encountered the one from last night seemed to only appear to be active after my husband and I both were in bed for the night. We didn’t feel or sense him beforehand. It was a negative enough feeling and noticeable enough that we both got back out of bed and immediately did a house cleansing and focused our bedroom wards, something I haven’t had to do for a very long while. I am trying to decide if the shadow man that is bothering us is the same kind of thing only on the other side of the spectrum from what I observed as a child, or if it is a completely different type of lurker. Either way, it won’t be bothering us anymore. It made the mistake of not being subtle with a witch.

These shadow men are the sorts of real things that give rise to stories of boogy men and monsters in the night. I feel bad for every child who has ever had something legitimately plaguing their nights and have parents who tell them that monsters aren’t real. Choosing not to believe in something may lessen its power, but it will not make it cease to exist. A bit of Frankincense, Sage, and concentrated will is guaranteed to have a much better effect. 

 

Experiment #1-Grounding in the Bedroom Doorway

I tried grounding in the doorway to my bedroom last night. When I moved to stand inside the physical doorway I could minutely feel the energy shift when I found the spot where the doorway was actually a doorway on every level-physically and energetically. The energetic doorway spreads out into the other planes somehow. Doorways are magickal in their own right. That little bump in energy where the physical and metaphysical merge is appealing to me. I didn’t actually ground to the doorway so much as ground through the energy and use that energy somehow. It wasn’t precisely what I intended to do. I intended to try grounding into the doorway AND terra firma. Grounding through the energy of the doorway to the Earth seemed to be give me an energy influx or…a sort of energy feeding if you will-like maybe I was a bit drained and it topped me off.

All in all it was interesting, but nothing like grounding out into the shoreline at the beach. Perhaps there is just not enough energy in my bedroom doorway even though it is also an in between spot. I’m thinking of using a more traversed area tonight-perhaps the thresh hold between the kitchen and the rest of my apartment.

Natural Stone Point vs. Wand

I was at the beach yesterday and found a perfect stone point. It is a pleasant light grey with veins of sparkles and on the metaphysical front it vibrates with a lot of energy and feels good in my palm. It has been smoothed meticulously by the waves as well. I’ve found the perfect tool to focus energy through, unless I haven’t. It seems more than likely this stone will do the trick though.

I’ve always wanted to make a wand, but I’ve never found a piece of wood that sang just right to me, or a gem I just HAD to weave into a power structure. When I was younger I made an attempt with a dowel rod that I was going to run a metal core through, but 1.) It was a lot of work and I lost interest somewhere between purchasing materials and building a fire to heat the metal, and 2.) the finished product I would be left with didn’t appeal to me. 1 may have been more of a deciding factor than 2, but I think if I had really wanted to do it I would have bucked up and done so. I never did. The idea of buying a wand has never appealed either. I don’t want to use an item full of someone else’s energies and intentions for something so intensely personal as magick.

Thank you, generous waters, for providing me an instrument I’ve been searching out for years. Hail Angrboda, Witch of the Ironwood! Thank you for helping me strengthen my magickal practice with the proper tools.

Grounding In Between

I have an unusual proclivity, which I’m not sure many other people share. I’m not from around here, soul wise. I don’t know where I’m from, but not here is a good start. My soul chose to take several spins around Earth for one reason or another and I think I decided I liked it here. What’s not to like? Humans are tight riddles.  

 I have an affinity for doorways and in between places and times. I don’t know if this has anything to do with where my soul hails from or if it is just my own unique quirk. I love the energy of mirrors, which are gateways if you study them closely. (Alice in Wonderland, anyone?) Closets are doorways that lead to nowhere. They’re very unusual in that regard and as such they have a tendency to actually be gateways to otherwhere. I think that is why young children are often frightened of closets. They’re not filtering as much of their senses and they might sense things passing through. There are lots of in between places in our world. Sometimes I stumble upon natural gateways in the forest-tunnels made by trees that I just know lead to an otherwhere. I’ve found natural caves that are doorways. Not all caves are doorways, but some are. It all has to do with the energy. Gateways and doorways all have a more, peculiar, energetic feel.

Sometimes they are out in the middle of nowhere, just standing open in a clear space. If I find one with an energy that doesn’t feel like it meshes well with the land I’m on radiating from the other side I take the time to close them, but sometimes they are so old and well used I couldn’t if I wanted to. They are a part of the world now and not a small energy expenditure from a single entity. These types of doorways have been set up to stay open by someone or something that intended it to be that way and has a greater knowledge of the energy flow than I do. When I find one like this I wonder if they are God doors. They have to slip back and forth to their otherwhere somehow, don’t they?

For me it is easy to spot these doorways, so long as my senses are turned on and I’m not sunk into Mundania too far. I think the reason is that this energy is a part of my own energy in some way. Recently, I was at the beach. The sunlight was a million diamonds on the gently sifting waves. They rushed in to greet me and slowly pulled away. As I came closer to the water I found that place where the water meets the sand and I was home. That special, ever shifting in between place where the water meets the sand is a dynamic, energetic in between space. I felt compelled to ground there-not only down into the earth, but OUT into that in between space as well. After I released all of the harmful energy from my body and the unuseful and harmful energy from my personal wards out into the space and down into Mother Earth I received some of the purest, most cleansing energy I’ve ever felt in my life in return. My head was immediately cleared and my body felt rejuvenated in a way that it hasn’t since 6 months before the birth of my first child.

I think I’ve found the key to feeling truly grounded for myself. I need an in between place or a doorway. I’ve also experienced some success with dual grounding-grounding out into the celestial with my top half and down into the Earth with my bottom half. (I believe I’ve read that this is common in Fey Traditions) I’m going to be running a series of experiments with doorways to determine if it is only the water/oceanic aspect that does this for me. I’m a bit leery of grounding to an object though (such as a mirror), so at this time I won’t be doing so. I’m excited about this. It has been a while since I found a new aspect of energy to investigate and nothing makes me happier than a new riddle.