My life has been stress and hectic activity recently. Some of it the good kind-reuniting with old friends-some of it the bad kind-frantically looking for a job and worrying about money (ongoing). Either way-I haven’t been myself. I haven’t been meditating. I’ve been shielding as usual because if I don’t unpleasant things happen, but I’ve been running on skeleton energy work for a while now. I can tell. I feel…drained from all of the stress and
fucked in the head off center from doing basically nothing for myself on the spiritual side of things.
This morning while I was taking a hot bath to relieve the
surprise attack from my horrible fucking menstrual cramps of doom bothersome symptoms of my moonblood I decided that I would close my eyes and attempt meditation. I managed to get to my temple, my place of solitude and strip down to take a dip in my pool there. When I got out I found a light, white summer dress had replaced the heavy, black cloth I’d started in. The breeze was blowing and a young, teenage male laughter was on the air.
The wind teased my hair dry and brought warm summery feelings to my heart and the laughter made my heart swell.
When I was younger I used to have dreams upon dreams of a young, red haired urchin-ostensibly, Peter Pan. I would fly with him, play with him. I lived lifetimes in my dreamlands with this boy. It was a joyful time for me as a child and then as a young adolescent. The dreams slowly siphoned to a stop the year I turned 12 and began to be overwhelmed by my adulthood (A long story, but …I have essentially been taking care of myself in most of the ways that count since then.)
I need to grasp that happy feeling again. I need to let go. Stop taking things so seriously and the world will either help me work things out or it won’t, but either way…I think he was telling me the stress needs to go. He washed it away for me in my meditative state. Once I came back to Mundania it started to slowly creep back in, but I think that now that I’ve been made aware that I am capable of wiping it away He would like to try to help me to do it long term.
Hail Loki, Keeper of Childlike Wonder and Joy!