Last night I had an experience that made me decide to repost something from my “normal” blog. Apparently, I can’t do normal very well. We’ve encountered something similar at my new apartment. I’m not sure if it is related to the casting I did last night OR if the energy I raised attracted the attention of something. It is hard to tell sometimes.
Post Title: Cloaked in Darkness They Annoy
When I was small, I was brave. I hated to show that I needed my parents or grandparents. I am not sure where this independence came from, whether it was something learned or inherent, but it was both a bother and a boon by turns. I was terrified of my closet and the dark recesses under my bed and dresser when it was dark and even the night light leant no solace. I never yelled for my Grandparents or my Father though when I woke up with night terrors or felt uncomfortable going to sleep. I knew they would not enjoy their sleep being disturbed or shortened, and besides, they would just tell me the things that I saw were in my own head.
They would have been right, to some degree. I had nightmares like any child, especially after I watched Pumpkinhead and Nightmare on Elm Street when I was still in 1st Grade. I would tensely lay awake far into the night imagining that something from those movie horrors would jump out at me unexpectedly if I were to let my eyelids slip together. Added into this created mental fray (thanks for being the cool parent Dad) were what I now know as legitimate childhood observations of the spiritual realm that interacts with our own from time to time. These competing ideas –things that are scary aren’t real vs. I see things that most people think aren’t real- make one very confused, frightened child with no one whom she feels she can talk to without being labeled crazy. I have always been perceptive and there were very few adults with whom discussing anything out of the ordinary was okay. Otherwise I would be outright dismissed or told in low hissing tones that I was going to go to hell if I kept talking about the things that I was seeing (thanks Mom-there are reasons we don’t talk).
My maternal Grandfather never outright dismissed me or told me I was “having nightmares”. I now suspect as an adult that it was because he had similar experiences to my own. He was a dowser, and I am fairly certain he was at least as psychically sensitive as I myself am today. When I was younger and I was at his house I would see a “shadow man”, which was a man comprised of shadow not hiding in shadows, though there was nothing about him that made him male other than a sense of maleness. Much like other things out of the ordinary seeing this shadow man frightened me because I had no context in which to place him. I ran to my Grandfather once after seeing him and he asked me why I was upset. I told him all about the shadow man, and my Grandfather told me not to mind him because he wasn’t there to hurt us. I would see the shadow man most frequently when we would lay down for a nap during the day, or back the hall near the bedrooms, as if it’s natural place was near resting areas. I saw the shadow man at least weekly when I would visit, and I know my little brother saw him on at least one occasion. I am sure Grandpa saw him too. I don’t know what he was, but he wasn’t a ghost. He didn’t have the same vibrations or presence that ghosts have. There was no feeling of ever having been a person about this entity, though it wasn’t threatening other than not being “normal”. I even wonder now if it wasn’t something that my Grandfather invited into the house for one purpose or another. I will never know because Grandpa died several years ago. I’ve seen him since briefly, but his spirit was also comforting rather than frightening, if a bit intrusive.
I am dissecting these memories of a long ago shadow man today because last night I encountered something similar, but with a decidedly malevolent feel. The shadow man I encountered last night was a negative energy feeder of some sort and decidedly wanted me to be afraid of it. I think it has been lurking around for a while, but since I am pregnant I have been overly tired and letting my cleansing of the living area slide. I do this because my husband and I together seem to make enough energy waves with our daily activities that we are interesting to just about anything on the metaphysical planes that happen to be wandering through. Unlike the shadow man when I was younger I get the distinct impression that daylight chases it into hiding. Also, much like the long ago childhood shadow man I encountered the one from last night seemed to only appear to be active after my husband and I both were in bed for the night. We didn’t feel or sense him beforehand. It was a negative enough feeling and noticeable enough that we both got back out of bed and immediately did a house cleansing and focused our bedroom wards, something I haven’t had to do for a very long while. I am trying to decide if the shadow man that is bothering us is the same kind of thing only on the other side of the spectrum from what I observed as a child, or if it is a completely different type of lurker. Either way, it won’t be bothering us anymore. It made the mistake of not being subtle with a witch.
These shadow men are the sorts of real things that give rise to stories of boogy men and monsters in the night. I feel bad for every child who has ever had something legitimately plaguing their nights and have parents who tell them that monsters aren’t real. Choosing not to believe in something may lessen its power, but it will not make it cease to exist. A bit of Frankincense, Sage, and concentrated will is guaranteed to have a much better effect.