Sad News For Nova Scotia Pagans.

I hate to see things like this happen anywhere. Here in Western Pennsylvania we’re conservative as well and I’ve seen several shops leave for various reasons. It’s always heartbreaking when it happens. I don’t have any great ideas for keeping the place open, but who knows? Maybe someone else does or would be interested in purchasing the business. Boosting the Signal by reblogging.

Before Change, Comes Chaos.

Little Mysteries, a pagan shop in down town Halifax is looking for a buyer. They don’t want to close their doors to the community they have served for 19 years. Welcoming everyone, regardless of spiritual path, into their doors and providing education and enrichment in the pagan ways.

I guess, according to their link here: http://mad.ly/2476b4 their time frame has been significantly reduced.

So if you read that, and are able to help by stepping up, it would be wonderful. Pagans here in Nova Scotia have so very little resources available, and very few establishments like Little Mysteries to help with their paths.

Nova Scotia, and the Canadian Maritime provinces are deeply Christian conservative. We are the Bible Belt of Canada, so when any of these shops close, it is a huge blow to the pagans of this region.

Please help! If anyone has any ideas in how we can…

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Jotnar Blood

I’ve been reading Raven Kaldera’s Jotunbok. It’s well worth tracking down the book to read it. The bulk of the book is Kaldera’s UPG and the UPG of others working with the Jotunar, so as always when reading about the work of others with the spirits it is necessary to digest everything with a grain of salt and-for me at least- slowly so I can evaluate it all. The biggest danger in reading a book that is heavily UPG is that the information just becomes THE information you have on the subject, but it strikes me as well thought out and well researched in most of the ways that count. I wish I had a better background in the lore before I’d started reading it because I’m finding myself wanting to research about a million different things because I’m not sure if some of it is UPG or actual lore.

I will admit I haven’t been reading the book through properly. Like any book that includes a chapter about Himself I started there and then jumped around. I will probably make more than one post about the book because there is a lot to think about there. The most intriguing idea I’ve come across so far is one that Kaldera puts forth about the reason the Gods and Loki and His family in particular have been contacting what seems to be a large amount of unprecedented people is because there is more “Jotnar blood” in the world and they’re seeking out those with it. Now, hang with me, because when I first read the words “Jotnar bloodline” the words SCIENCE flashed across my brain in neon letters. Yeah, this isn’t necessarily something that is disregarding science. The whole idea is that at the human’s conception a spirit-in this case a Jotnar spirit- is possessing one of the humans involved either with their knowledge or not to varying degrees and their energy changes the energy of the new life being formed at the conception. It squicks me a bit if a person doesn’t know it is happening, mostly because it seems a bit too close to rape, but it seems like something that could happen.

Kaldera talks about this new, resulting energy infusion or influx or change as “the jotnar bloodline”, but to me it really seems more like being soul touched or soul kissed with new and more energy, and like anything else it isn’t always a good thing. It can imbue the person it happens to with all of the good and bad sides of the Jotnar energy and depending on how involved the spirit was at the conception (full possession or just riding one of the parents a bit) that is how much of the spirit energy mixes into the new human. I found this wildly intriguing and not at all outside the bounds of possibility with what I know from energy work. So many things can effect a life when they’re crossing over to be reborn that believing this could happen is barely even a tiny hurdle for me. Many people claim to be soul touched or have had their soul transformed in a variety of ways with many different energies. I’ve heard of people who believe they have angelic energies and people who’ve had their souls modified in various ways during astral travels. The soul, our spirit selves, are all energy, and energy can be transformed and manipulated far more easily than our physical bodies-at least into a new state. It is far easier to destroy the physical body than transform it.

Of course, I have this tendency, the one that makes it completely impossible for me to be a doctor of any variety, that had me looking for the Jotnar traits in myself and my family that Kaldera went on to list after this discussion about bloodlines. Hot blooded? Yes. My Mother, Grandfather, Brother and I all share major rage issues. My Grandfather, Brother and I are all magically inclined, my Grandfather having been the local dowser in our small backwater town. The list went on and I could find other similarities, so immediately my mind grappled with, “DO I HAVE JOTNAR BLOOD?”. Then I slowed down and laughed at myself. Whatever I am, and I don’t believe my soul to be human, really, I’m not a Jotun. It just doesn’t feel right for me. When I think about it all it isn’t something that rings true even though, yes my family is “weird”. I ran through the list of things that can make someone part of “the bloodline” of etins and there were some huge similarities, but in the end …I don’t know.

Part of the reason I put so much thought into it is because so much of what some of the people had to say about Himself in this book made sense with my own UPG. I know for quite some while I travelled with Loki while he was doing “errands”, often something ambassador like, outside of Asgard, most likely at Odin’s behest. I travelled with him for a great while and very, very occasionally we stayed in Asgard on return trips, but usually not. That begs the question of where we DID stay, but I don’t have many memories of that. Most of my memories are of the fun “on the road” variety. A lot of people talked about how Loki didn’t spend much time inside of Asgard for various reasons, so this jived for me. My husband and I share UPG of meeting in Asgard on one of these rare occasions, and then I left Loki’s party and stayed with my Husband, going with him and his kindred when they left after our first meeting. With my own UPG it actually makes sense that I could have a Jotun spirit-why would I have been travelling with him otherwise?-but, again, it doesn’t feel right. I feel like my soul is more non-sentient universal building block material and considering my ability to mold most energies that makes more sense, but that means that sometime in antiquity my soul sprang up out of the ether?

Not having soul parents would make sense for me, I suppose.

In any event, the idea of Jotun bloodlines lead me down the primrose path of OTHER spirits soul touching the unborn for various reasons (’cause if ONE type of spirit can do it why can’t another?) and I was all…OH, snap. Maybe that is the what is behind some of the upsurge in the numbers of the pagan community at large? People who are soul touched and don’t feel at home in the various monotheistic, established religions, or in their own skins are going out and trying to find themselves.

Essentially, given any amount of truth in this idea of Jotun bloodlines  (which I believe there is) a lot of people are constantly searching for a home they may not find on this plane, place and time. The eternal wanderer imagery is sad, but hopefully in meeting others of the same tendency people can build a home here that they love and feel safe in and allows them to care for and be cared about. Our family is our home, and maybe too that is what the Jotnar were hoping to build for themselves. A home amongst the humans of Midgard.  

Looking for the Illusive “Good Job”

Image

This work was done by Ofools on Deviant Art and fairly accurately depicts the way I’m feeling Himself right now. I have kind of an “eye of the tiger” (Old school) theme running around in my head today. I’ve got a getting shit done montage playing out. Why?

I quit my job. Now what?

It was irresponsible of me.

(Side note: Isn’t it really strange that I can type and type and type, but I don’t really think in WORDS in my own head? It’s terrifically difficult for me to plan or digest anything without writing it down. I don’t think that’s normal.)

Why did I quit my job in phone sales? Well, if you’ve never done phones sales it may not make sense. I hated it. I was working for a mainstream company with shady sales habits. I hated pushing garbage products on elderly people who didn’t have money to spend because they are poor. Our elders deserve better. I quit because I hated trying to hustle old people into taking programs they don’t want or need in the vague hopes that they will forget to cancel said programs after the introductory period so the company I am working for can make money hand over fist. I hated skating around the truth every day for eight hours a day when I’ve worked so hard to bring it central to my own existence.

Definition of Job:

Not a career path (see Career). A means of procuring income often at the degradation of soul and sanity.  Jobs are occasionally secured at disreputable companies knowingly, but over time become less and less appealing. A job is taken usually in the throes of survival instincts.

Definition of Career:

 A calling, often professional and usually requiring further education beyond high school. Sometimes the career brings in enough money to justify the student loans and sometimes it doesn’t, but always a person’s soul is at peace with the career path.

And I hated being rewarded for doing it. Rewarded a fucking pittance compared to what the company was taking in, but rewarded none-the-less.

I would like to say I quit my job because I had an attack of conscience, but that’s not entirely honest either. I quit because I didn’t like it, flat out. I didn’t like the drain on my time and patience and creative energy. I didn’t like sitting on my ass for up to an eight hour stretch. I’ve gained weight, I’m unhealthy, and my sex life is frankly non-existent because a stressed person isn’t a person doing a whole lot of fucking. I hated talking on the phone to people who thought they were better than me or who were afraid to talk to me for fear they’d be talked into spending money or something they didn’t really want on need.

I didn’t like my job.

And that’s okay, except that my family needs money to survive.

So, I’ve kind of fucked us.

And when it comes down to things like fucking my family over I’d like to blame Himself. You heard me. Loyal Friend. Devoted. I see Him as my Muse and part of my central focus in the universe and I’d like to blame Him. He’s such a part of me and my life it’s almost instinctive. I’d like to say, “I have this impulsive nature from o/Our association” and blame my poor planning and execution on Himself, but I hate it when people do shit like that. Yes, He didn’t seem pleased with my job, but mostly because it was a soul suck and I hated it. Loki is my Friend and it isn’t nice to blame my shitty planning on my friends, but…

It was so satisfying to tell my manager I was leaving.

It was so wonderful walking out of those doors knowing I didn’t have to force myself to walk through them again day after day.

And Himself? He’s most likely going to be at my side helping me to do whatever I can to survive. He wants me to relax, unclench, unwind and I think w/We thought I would if I had money coming in of any sort, but I didn’t. I was worse. So, now I’m back to the drawing board staring down the hollow tunnels of zeroes on my bank account. With Him at my side.

And I’m trucking forward. Planning THIS part of everything, at least. I’m attacking new goals. I’m making career plans as well as looking for a job, and if He happens to help me out of this jam (yeah, to be fair He may have had a hand in it SOMEWHERE-always give Himself His due), I will be grateful as always.

And feel blessed and the tiniest bit baffled at what I could have possibly ever done to deserve Someone like Himself in my corner, but Mundania doesn’t usually sort itself out while I rest on my laurels, so I’m churning out the job applications and I will be until I’ve got money coming in again.  

Hail Loki! Hail to the Muse! Hail to my Sweetest Friend.

 

“Real” Work vs. Work

I’ve been having a creative flurry. I’ve been spilling ink across pages and pages, typing up work that is already finished, and feeling the burn of only having an hour or two every day to do it. My fingers sting when I drop my pen, glare at the clock on my phone, and try to squeeze another minute of two of work in before the momentum is crushed.

Then I go to work in the “real” work place. I do someone else’s work for them and make money for a business I would generally be content to see fizzle out of existence. I tell customers the truth about our products and get bitched at. I truck on.

And to me, of course, the real work is the work with Them, the work I love, the work I’m driven to again and again. That’s real. Making money is a necessity, but it isn’t real. I’m not engaged in it. I don’t enjoy it. My heart isn’t there.

Then I come home and tend to my family, whom I love.

Then, after the family is asleep, I do whatever I can with Them and maybe it is writing and maybe it is meditating and maybe it is sitting and staring at the damned wall while I enjoy the loving glow of Himself because I’m too exhausted to actually engage on the astral.

And I chant. I’ve been chanting at work during dead time and chanting on the commute and chanting when I’m stressed at home. It seems to help my day suck less.  

Overall, the cycle seems to be getting easier. What I used to think of as a fallow time-the astral not being as easy to touch when I’m awake-isn’t necessarily so. I’m engaging with Them, but I’m doing it differently than I’m used to. And that’s okay, as long as my life eventually shifts to become a more manageable beast because I can only run on 5 hours of sleep for so long.

Hail Loki! Muse and Friend.

 

Love Notes from Himself

I was at the local coffee shop where I’ve been doing all of my morning writing before work the other day and I found a book on the table I always sit at. (In so many ways I am a predictable creature of habit.) I was going to just turn the book in to the staff-it was small and the cover wasn’t very interesting- but, I got a mental poke to open it, so I did. The poem wasn’t titled (The work was a random published collection from a local author whose name now escapes me, sadly, and I didn’t write it down.), but I’m considering it a love note.

Walk with me my friend.
I will show you what I’ve seen, where I’ve been.
And in another time
we shall be called
true friends
if we walk together again.

I got shivers. I had one of those moments where I can’t really find a coincidence in what happened and have to acknowledge Himself because the words were so personal to our journey.
❤ My Trickster

Blood Bond Vs. Marriage

I didn’t think I needed to, really, mention that all of these observations are rife with my UPG, but just in case …they are all chock full of my UPG.


Why did Odin choose a blood bond rather than a marriage with Loki? I suppose the argument could be made that marriage between two men wasn’t done in Their culture or rather the filter of the culture we know Them best from, the Nordic folks, but blood bonding was the acceptable equivalent to anchor Loki solidly in Odin’s family. I think the choice was more deliberate than a default. Odin could have chosen to do any number of other things, a good few I probably would never think of, but I don’t think any other bonding but one of blood would have satisfied their relationship as it stood. Even had Loki been a woman, a Goddess rather than a God, and a marriage had ensued I believe a blood bond would have still been exchanged. The essence of Odin needed Loki-his changeability and adaptability only augment Odin’s own being. A large part of the essence of Loki is Wit and Limits and a sound ruler/father/patriarch can’t afford to be bogged down without it. All that being said, in many ways the merging of their essence was a happy accident based on Their shared Passion and Love. They satisfied a need in one another and brought each other into balance.

Odin and Loki would not be the Gods we know today without the Other. Loki keeps Odin modern and Odin occasionally yanks Loki out of trouble and to His side (or to His side to solve trouble). Also, as a God who walks the road in between and who pushes boundaries Loki can keep Odin with all of his knowledge on this side of sanity. Knowing too much is never good for anyone. He can help Odin set limits of what is and isn’t okay to do based on His knowledge.

Blood Bond vs. Marriage

A marriage is more on the lines of a contract and can turn into one partner, stronger in some way, overwhelming the other (mentally, physically, financially, status wise). The nature of modern marriage has it predisposed to be romantic, but historically it was more contractual with the hopes that a good partnership would be formed from the arrangements.

A blood bond is by its very nature more about sharing-shared life, shared bond, shared essence. Once can be forced into marriage, but this type of bond cannot form at all without the direct desire of the participants at the time of inception and would be far more difficult to break, if it can be broken at all.

Magic is involved in a blood bond-water, earth, fire, air, and spirit all find a  place in such a bond imbuing it with power. Magic can be woven into a marriage bond, but the blood bond has it naturally.

Earth: The bones and body through which the blood flows.

Water: The blood.

Air: The breath is in the blood and also animates the body, as well as carrying promises and oaths.

Fire: Is the Passion and the heat of life.

Spirit: The soul and energy merging which occurs.