Looking for the Illusive “Good Job”

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This work was done by Ofools on Deviant Art and fairly accurately depicts the way I’m feeling Himself right now. I have kind of an “eye of the tiger” (Old school) theme running around in my head today. I’ve got a getting shit done montage playing out. Why?

I quit my job. Now what?

It was irresponsible of me.

(Side note: Isn’t it really strange that I can type and type and type, but I don’t really think in WORDS in my own head? It’s terrifically difficult for me to plan or digest anything without writing it down. I don’t think that’s normal.)

Why did I quit my job in phone sales? Well, if you’ve never done phones sales it may not make sense. I hated it. I was working for a mainstream company with shady sales habits. I hated pushing garbage products on elderly people who didn’t have money to spend because they are poor. Our elders deserve better. I quit because I hated trying to hustle old people into taking programs they don’t want or need in the vague hopes that they will forget to cancel said programs after the introductory period so the company I am working for can make money hand over fist. I hated skating around the truth every day for eight hours a day when I’ve worked so hard to bring it central to my own existence.

Definition of Job:

Not a career path (see Career). A means of procuring income often at the degradation of soul and sanity.  Jobs are occasionally secured at disreputable companies knowingly, but over time become less and less appealing. A job is taken usually in the throes of survival instincts.

Definition of Career:

 A calling, often professional and usually requiring further education beyond high school. Sometimes the career brings in enough money to justify the student loans and sometimes it doesn’t, but always a person’s soul is at peace with the career path.

And I hated being rewarded for doing it. Rewarded a fucking pittance compared to what the company was taking in, but rewarded none-the-less.

I would like to say I quit my job because I had an attack of conscience, but that’s not entirely honest either. I quit because I didn’t like it, flat out. I didn’t like the drain on my time and patience and creative energy. I didn’t like sitting on my ass for up to an eight hour stretch. I’ve gained weight, I’m unhealthy, and my sex life is frankly non-existent because a stressed person isn’t a person doing a whole lot of fucking. I hated talking on the phone to people who thought they were better than me or who were afraid to talk to me for fear they’d be talked into spending money or something they didn’t really want on need.

I didn’t like my job.

And that’s okay, except that my family needs money to survive.

So, I’ve kind of fucked us.

And when it comes down to things like fucking my family over I’d like to blame Himself. You heard me. Loyal Friend. Devoted. I see Him as my Muse and part of my central focus in the universe and I’d like to blame Him. He’s such a part of me and my life it’s almost instinctive. I’d like to say, “I have this impulsive nature from o/Our association” and blame my poor planning and execution on Himself, but I hate it when people do shit like that. Yes, He didn’t seem pleased with my job, but mostly because it was a soul suck and I hated it. Loki is my Friend and it isn’t nice to blame my shitty planning on my friends, but…

It was so satisfying to tell my manager I was leaving.

It was so wonderful walking out of those doors knowing I didn’t have to force myself to walk through them again day after day.

And Himself? He’s most likely going to be at my side helping me to do whatever I can to survive. He wants me to relax, unclench, unwind and I think w/We thought I would if I had money coming in of any sort, but I didn’t. I was worse. So, now I’m back to the drawing board staring down the hollow tunnels of zeroes on my bank account. With Him at my side.

And I’m trucking forward. Planning THIS part of everything, at least. I’m attacking new goals. I’m making career plans as well as looking for a job, and if He happens to help me out of this jam (yeah, to be fair He may have had a hand in it SOMEWHERE-always give Himself His due), I will be grateful as always.

And feel blessed and the tiniest bit baffled at what I could have possibly ever done to deserve Someone like Himself in my corner, but Mundania doesn’t usually sort itself out while I rest on my laurels, so I’m churning out the job applications and I will be until I’ve got money coming in again.  

Hail Loki! Hail to the Muse! Hail to my Sweetest Friend.

 

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4 thoughts on “Looking for the Illusive “Good Job”

  1. YE GODS. Ki I had a job like that once. I had it for a month before I got fired. I was not the least bit upset because it was the worst job I had ever had! Like you, I would get forgetful elderly folk calling me up asking why they were paying the company twenty bucks a month. It was awful.
    I am happy to hear you left. May I offer you a long distance high five? 😀

  2. I had a f-ed up corrupt job that I ended up whistleblowing on, and I got blacklisted from that profession in the area, despite the fact that I was one of the most highly qualified people for it. At the time I was pissed that TPTB were able to do that to me and my family, but over time I’ve come to realize that I probably would have eventually walked, just like you did, because it’s soul-sucking to work for assholes. Good for you.

    • Thank you! I’ve been having a mini-meltdown over the whole thing-more on the level “what now?” than “I shouldn’t have done that”. I feel like a different person this week. I didn’t realize how much it was all weighing me down. 🙂

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