Beach Meditations: Jormungandr

I woke up this morning with the idea of going to the beach to meditate thrumming in my head, and that was quickly followed by the thought-“and leave an offering for Jormungandr”. So, I woke up and went through my morning routine quickly-I woke up a full half hour before my alarm went off as well-and that’s what I did. The sun was glinting on tossing water and the sand was dimpled and soft from the rains last night. The air was so clean my nose twitched and the energy of the lake washed over me the second my foot hit the ground.

Walking out, I lit my incense and found a spot for it, and then I walked, looking out over the water and slipped into a small meditation. The first thing I realized as I walked is why Loki and Jormungandr’s energies sing so much alike to me, or at least part of why. They both hold sway over “in between places”. I grounded on the shoreline, letting my energy stretch out and around the shore, and with Lake Erie that is a vast, vast area, and felt that special kinship with Loki that grounding to in between places brings for me. While I did that the image of the World Serpent, curled lovingly around our realm hit me. Jormungandr is also a deity of in between places. He is an in between place if you follow the lore. I believe he has an intrinsic understanding of the boundaries between the realms and boundaries between time and place. He has a very, thorough understanding of the basic building blocks of the universe as a result and I believe has the ability to understand and possibly effect most of what reality is built on.

Jor is very much an aquatic deity to me-loving and living in the water for a lot of His existence and a lot of His life-depending on how literally one wants to take the lore. I believe the lore is both literal and figurative. Jor certainly isn’t anchored in one place like the tales of Atlas, at least not in spirit. I’ve spoken before about my astral temple, and how it is an island in a/the Primordial Ocean. Usually there are starry skies over my temple, never changing, but I’ve been forced into daylight often enough when Jormungandr is near, and seen him in the distance, massive body curling out of the ocean while seagulls call. So, if I had to say of which element does Jor most associate I would have to say Water, but that is just from me, and something I would choose to use as a magical association for purposes of spell work. I don’t know what the other “authorities” on the subject might think.

In contrast to my certainty that Jor isn’t tied to His body holding the boundary between the realms I’ve had some insight into why He is the way He is as far as the way He feels about life. He’s very focused on reality and dealing with problems expediently and not, as I said before, what I would term overly romantic. He’s a realist on almost every level. His body, massive, larger than the oldest tree, protects and encircles some area of the realms-whether it is exactly as we have been told in lore or not I hesitate to guess-and it is under constant assault, from beings who would like to get through to roam, and even just from animals and such. He’s gnawed at and constantly healing. He’s battered and constantly repairing. He’s constantly in pain, and He’s learned to throw it off and ignore it. Pain is a part of life and we move on in spite of it. He’s not one for lingering and wallowing in pain because pain is His constant companion in His serpentine body. Is or was. I can’t tell if He’s still performing this duty, though He might be on one level, but obviously isn’t tied to that body any longer.
Time and reality are shifty things to pin down sometimes, especially when dealing with the spirit realm and deities.

After my ruminations this morning, as I was walking along the beach before I left to go to work, I found three pieces of clear and white beach glass. I’ve never found any before, in spite of searching for many years, and so, I thank you Jormungandr for the gifts.

Hail to the World Serpent!

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Echo of Loki

His voice thrums and we hear it, deep in our heads without our ears.

His heart bleeds and we paint ourselves in His blood, let it run into our veins.

His thoughts push ours and we grow Them, let them root in our hearts more readily than our own.

His Will winds through our Wyrd because we allow it, invite it, strengthening us.

We are never alone. We are echoes of power. His to Us, Us to Him.

Old School Revival

Is it just me, or does it seem that the Gods are trying very hard to gather close a new crop of Preist/esses at this moment? It seems like many pantheons are very close to having a living, breathing, and most of all dynamic following once again. The internet has been gifting me with interesting websites lately. I’ve seen godspouses of Hades and Lugh and of course there is the spate of Kemetics that are easily found, along with the normal run of blogs I sometimes peek at that involve the Norse pantheon.

I am struck with excitement about this today, like it means something special, and I’m not sure why.

 

Jormungandr-The World Snake or Loki’s Child

Jormungandr is one of Loki’s children that I actually seem to get a lot of input from here and there. Whenever I’m not paying attention, when I start ignoring the Otherness around me and slipping too far away from my center and I get back into a regular meditation practice I start getting striking snakes as a vision. It’s terrifying and not-I’ve never been bitten, but I’ve been struck at. I had a snake I dearly loved as a child, so I’m familiar with them. They do have personality, if you know how to look for it. They have likes and dislikes and I’m very convinced that mine loved me, so overall, I wasn’t freaked out by Jormungandr.

A lot of my interactions with Jormungandr have been with a large, exceptionally large, snake or with striking snake visions, but, and here my experience differs from many others I have read, Jormungandr almost always comes through for me as very, potently, male. I’ve had dreams with Jormungandr and some deeper meditations and usually I am presented with a male-late 20’s to early 30’s-black hair, pale skin, dark or green eyes. Very dark on light coloring. He’s flirty and reminds me A LOT of Loki, but He’s very much not. Jormundganr’s energy pattern almost confuses me because at times it is very close to Loki’s. Jormungandr’s energy usually comes across to me as almost darker, as if everything that He (I’m going to go ahead and use He here because this is the way that Jormungander has been presenting to me, so really I feel silly dancing around it because most everyone else gets a more neutral version of the World Serpent) does or says is tinged with taboo-that feeling of treading close to be doing something uncomfortable.

Now, some people might ask me if maybe the antenna on my godphone needs adjusting. Am I discerning correctly? Am I sure that this isn’t Loki I’m interacting with? The answer to that would be: I am 100% sure. Loki is tricky sometimes, and uses many masks, but His energy is always the same. He always feels the same to me. I know when I’m interacting with Loki. I’ve earned that knowledge the hard way. Okay, nothing is fool proof, but if I had to lay money on it I would.

I was completely fine with this, and still am really, but the more I read and try to expand my knowledge and understanding the more I realize other people don’t have this experience of Jormungandr as sexed. Most of what I have read, especially the UPG heavy stuff, says sexless or both sexed. Kaldera even calls into question whether or not anyone who has an experience with Jormungandr where He’s communicating with anything like human type consciousness is actually speaking to Him. I will admit when I first read that I was a little put out, and I did sit down and do some thinking, but when all was said and done I was still sure I’ve been getting communication from The World Serpent, and sometimes I do get the striking snake and nothing else, something that is set to bring my attention running quickly.

The reason I’m blogging about this is because one, my experience seems to have drastically differentiated from that of a lot of others, and two because I like to let my experiences guide me. There is a big tendency to read things written by others and immediately start calling our own experiences into question, which to some degree is okay. It’s not a bad thing to pick at an experience and learn something about ourselves, but there’s also a time to simply trust our own discernment and not fall into the trap of allowing others-simply because they have taken the time to write about it-to steal away our certainty. I believe that as spirit workers we all need to be able to trust in our own abilities or work on them. Everyone has their own filter and their own lessons to learn, so my experiences may not be the same as yours and yours may not be the same as mine, and that doesn’t delegitimize either. Then why do I blog about stuff like this? Because it’s still pretty freakin’ neat when I do find someone who has a shared UPG experience, and also there may be people out there that this info might help. I’d hate for someone to read Kaldera or others and say, “Oh, I’m not really talking to Jormungandr because of XYZ” and not be able to find anything else because everyone who isn’t having that experience is keeping it to themselves.

So, that’s my 2 cents on Jormungandr. I interact with a very male, very dry humored, very down to earth child of Loki, who chooses to present to me as male, though I’ve never seen the clothes come off in the human form interactions. I feel it would be a bit rude of me to call that presentation into question because it doesn’t fit the generally accepted mold. Maybe Jor has dude days and chick days and a-sexual days. I can dig it.

Speaking of spirit/human relationships gone bad…

I won’t comment on the relationship in question in this post, as the post very well speaks on that, but what I will say is that this almost says more about us as a community than it does about the players here. We need more people willing to step up into leadership positions so that the few who have won’t become burned out, over burdened, and generally abused. Yes, everyone needs to be able to set limits, but it is hard to turn away people who are confused and often times scared. We need places, public places, people can go and get a reasonable amount of support without jumping through hoops. I was extremely lucky to find some people who were willing to put up with my questions and problems, and I had a lot of them, when I first got bapped upside the head by Loki. We need to pull together when people are having problems, initiations, facing trials, not play the “holier than thou” game. I am horrified, just horrified, that this person went through this.

Balance

I don’t do balance well. Balance to me is leading one of those serene lives where you do everything in its own time and still have the time and energy for family and friends.

I don’t do that well.

I lose myself in projects. LOST. I’m very all or nothing. I bow out of my life when I get sucked into a project. Me? Stage left. Gone. I’ll be nothing other than my project for months at a time.

And Himself hasn’t helped on this front-at least not my stress about it-because now I feel like I’m splitting my time three ways-Projects, Family, Himself (who also falls under projects and family in some ways, but still for clarification I think this works).

This lack of the ability to balance is such a large problem for me that at one point I envisioned my life thusly: Me-alone- working, working, working on my projects-academia, research, writing-with no one else, not even family, and maybe the occasional one night stand for some stress relief. My life didn’t take that path though, and now I struggle.

My single mindedness is a double edged sword. It has let me get a lot done in a very short amount of time on more than one occasion, but it has also cost me. Friendships. I’ve lost more than one friend because I simply couldn’t make myself give them time. Relationships-ditto. I’ve lost a few people I loved a lot, but didn’t love enough to give them what they needed. I missed my brother’s wedding because I was busy working on something. I can’t even remember what it was now, but nothing else seemed important at the time.

I’m going to ask Loki to help me with this in some way. That’s kind of a frightening prospect. I never know what His version of helping will be, and usually it isn’t something I would have even thought about before hand. Change is hard. Change is scary sometimes.

Before I ask Him formally, not that He hasn’t tried to get me to do some version of this before, I’m going to try to chant more. I’m going to try to sit and meditate more. He’s tried to get me to unwind before, but every time I manage to I crank the heat up on myself twice as hard afterwards because I’ve “lost time”. I haven’t been good enough. I haven’t been trying hard enough. Three things I don’t do well: vacations, down time, and compliments. The reason for all three is rooted in some very unhappy thoughts I am always contending with. I feel like I don’t deserve them, when it gets right down to it, because I haven’t done enough or done enough well to deserve them. And gods help anyone who tells me I am attractive. A wet blanket of mortification smothers what should be a good feeling for me. The pleasure starts to bloom, and then a small voice, sometimes one I can barely hear, picks apart the compliment.

Maybe some of this is part of a fear of Love?

I don’t really know.

So-how do I convince myself I am worth things that another person might just assume as a personal right? Why do I feel that way to begin with? Why can’t I find a happy medium for all of the things I am trying to accomplish?

I don’t know. Shadow work is in order, I suppose, and Mercury Retrograde is a fine time to do it.

And when I ask Loki to help me He’s either going to make me shit can that fear or He’s going to make me walk with it. Or some other third option I haven’t thought about.

Well, here’s to attempting Balance.

A couple words from a Non-Reconstructionist

When I first started I bumped up against the “you’re just doing this because Marvel-BLAH” wall, enough times that I retreated away from the larger “Lokean” community to some degree. I’m just now getting up the gumption to interact with others in the Heathen community again. This is a lovely post by the Swamp Witch.